“Can I just get you a candy sucker engagement ring and be done with it?”
The mister and I had a fairly frank discussion about our relationship the other night and he surprised me by revealing the reason why we’re not engaged yet: he doesn’t have the money he needs to buy the engagement ring he wants me to have. I was taken aback, mainly because I figured the reason we weren’t engaged yet was because of our distance.
During this discussion, he proposed the above question and informed me that I was NOT to eat the candy ring. I scoffed. I don’t NOT candy [mmm, double negative much?]. It’s physically impossible. Ask any bag of Haribo Gummi Bears if I’m capable of not eating them. Oh, you can’t. Because I already ate them. Exactly.
I did take the time to seriously think about his question. There are several types of romantic people who would be elated to receive a candy ring pop or a piece of string to stand in for their engagement ring because they just love their partner so much, all the shiny bling just doesn’t matter; it’s just the proverbial icing on the cake. After all, it is the meaning behind the words that is the most important, not some shiny bauble.
Upon further reflection, I came to realize that I am not one of those people.
I want an engagement ring.
I absolutely, positively love this man and can’t wait to hear the words he chooses when he asks me to become his wife. Sure the engagement isn’t in the ring, but it is a symbol of that commitment. I don’t care if it’s the fanciest ring, I just want a ring.
Why is it so important for me to have something that doesn’t make me any more engaged than we already are?
It’s not about having a ring to show off to company, or even one that shows the world how much he loves me, because I don’t correlate his worth to the size/price of my ring. I love and adore my promise ring. Every time I look at it, I’m reminded of the day he gave it to me [St. Patrick's Day, to be exact]. I remember helping his best friend find an interview outfit and him calling me over to browse through some rings. I remember trying it on and being pushed away so he could make the final purchase. I remember trying not to smile while he led me to the couches in the middle of the mall so we could sit. I will admit that I don’t remember exactly what he said, but that ring became a symbol of our future commitment to become husband and wife. And that is why I want an engagement ring, so when I look at it, I’ll remember the moment he asked me to become his wife, and when I look at my wedding band, I’ll remember the moment I became his wife.
That is why I want an engagement ring.
Why did you want, or not, an engagement ring?
I guess I never assumed I could get engaged without a ring. It is so nice to have something so physical.
I love mine, as a family heirloom I cannot wait to pass it on.