The other night I had a dream.
A dream about the engagement ring.
Allow me to set the scene. Okay, just kidding. I don’t really remember the scene but I was sitting in a living room minding my own business when the mister pops in and tells me how he got my engagement ring. He hands it to me and lets me try it on. I’m excited and then open the box.
It was the gaudiest thing I had ever seen.
I don’t really know how to describe it except to say that it was gold, almost big like a class ring , and the center had this piece that had “believe” inscribed on it with a small stone that I could flip over, like this:
[source]
I tried it on and the darn thing barely fit; it made a sizeable indentation on my finger. I don’t think I really said anything about liking it. The mister wandered away and I sat there, staring at my hand and finally declared it absolutely horrible. At that point I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I hated it but I didn’t want to wear it, let alone own it. After some indecision [I was sitting at the coffee table looking around pitifully], I finally pulled it off and hid it in his closet while he was outside. Because obviously hiding the ring in the closet made perfect sense.
The ring really left an impression on me because when I woke up, the first thing I said was, “That was one gaudy ring!” And for a few hours afterward I still couldn’t believe how ugly that ring was. You know something special happened in your dream when you have the same reaction awake that the you had while dreaming.
Thank goodness I know the mister has much better taste than the dream him. Plus, we have gone shopping together so he knows what I like so there’s really no reason to worry about getting a ring I don’t like.Whew, what a relief.
Has anyone else had a dream about your engagement ring before the proposal?
“Can I just get you a candy sucker engagement ring and be done with it?”
The mister and I had a fairly frank discussion about our relationship the other night and he surprised me by revealing the reason why we’re not engaged yet: he doesn’t have the money he needs to buy the engagement ring he wants me to have. I was taken aback, mainly because I figured the reason we weren’t engaged yet was because of our distance.
During this discussion, he proposed the above question and informed me that I was NOT to eat the candy ring. I scoffed. I don’t NOT candy [mmm, double negative much?]. It’s physically impossible. Ask any bag of Haribo Gummi Bears if I’m capable of not eating them. Oh, you can’t. Because I already ate them. Exactly.
I did take the time to seriously think about his question. There are several types of romantic people who would be elated to receive a candy ring pop or a piece of string to stand in for their engagement ring because they just love their partner so much, all the shiny bling just doesn’t matter; it’s just the proverbial icing on the cake. After all, it is the meaning behind the words that is the most important, not some shiny bauble.
Upon further reflection, I came to realize that I am not one of those people.
I want an engagement ring.
I absolutely, positively love this man and can’t wait to hear the words he chooses when he asks me to become his wife. Sure the engagement isn’t in the ring, but it is a symbol of that commitment. I don’t care if it’s the fanciest ring, I just want a ring.
Why is it so important for me to have something that doesn’t make me any more engaged than we already are?
It’s not about having a ring to show off to company, or even one that shows the world how much he loves me, because I don’t correlate his worth to the size/price of my ring. I love and adore my promise ring. Every time I look at it, I’m reminded of the day he gave it to me [St. Patrick's Day, to be exact]. I remember helping his best friend find an interview outfit and him calling me over to browse through some rings. I remember trying it on and being pushed away so he could make the final purchase. I remember trying not to smile while he led me to the couches in the middle of the mall so we could sit. I will admit that I don’t remember exactly what he said, but that ring became a symbol of our future commitment to become husband and wife. And that is why I want an engagement ring, so when I look at it, I’ll remember the moment he asked me to become his wife, and when I look at my wedding band, I’ll remember the moment I became his wife.
That is why I want an engagement ring.
Why did you want, or not, an engagement ring?
before openly researching for the weddening, i made a couple simple rules for myself to help keep the pre-engaged planning to a manageable level:
- no buying wedding magazines. i could browse through them to my heart’s content at the bookstore but they could not leave with me.
- definitely no looking at wedding dresses.
everything else was fair game. i could email venues to scope out prices to help build a budget and i could source ideas and prices for centerpieces, bouquets, invitations and even shoes. i could pretty much plan the whole thing right there. and it worked like a charm. until it didn’t.
it was easy to not buy any magazines since they tend to run on the more expensive side and you can always find similar ideas and pictures online for free. they were always a fun read though, well once you get through the gajillion or so ads for dresses. besides, i figured i got my money’s worth after flipping through it the one time and putting it back on the rack. now that says a lot doesn’t?
the dress thing was a bit harder. at first i was fine with just reading about other people’s dresses in blogs but suddenly i found myself clicking further into the links which eventually led to bookmarks. and just like that, i had broken the biggest rule of all.
though even that seems trivial when compared to the next rule i broke. yeah, i broke a rule that was even set, but really, it seemed more like a “duh” type of thing.
so here’s the story. while reading weddingbee a couple of years ago [yes, i have been reading for that long], i came across mrs. bell pepper’s post on ring holders and she showcased a ring orb that had since become uber popular around these parts, and by these parts i mean the wedding parts. because where else would this be relevant?
well isn’t it just fabulous? that’s what i thought and before anyone knew it, i had impulsively tracked down scarlett alley and minutes later i had made my first weddening purchase [which kind of makes this blog pre-engagement seem normal doesn't?]. i still think this was one of the best decisions i could have made, especially considering that they’ve been hard to come by in that tiffany blue color and copper [i’ve seen them in an equally pretty lavender color] since then.
i’ve tucked it safely in my closet and to be honest, i kind of forgot i had it until i was cleaning out my closet a couple of months back. sure it was a huge impulse buy and who knows if we’ll even use it at our wedding and never mind the fact that the boy doesn’t even know about it [well, until he reads this post that is – though remember, i forgot i bought the thing!] but it’s pretty. so very pretty.
hopefully we’ll be able to incorporate the orb into the wedding plans some way, even if it’s only for pictures of our rings. if not, then they’ll be pretty decoration for our home!
i spent the christmas holiday with the boy and while i was out there we did a little shopping: engagement ring shopping!
going in, i was convinced that i wanted a three-stone ring, preferably a round center stone with pear side stones. that was always the style that caught my attention whenever i would glance over engagement rings. in fact, my promise ring he gave me is kind of similar to that as well.
[source: michael c. fina]
to some purists [like the boy and a couple of my friends] it seemed weird that i wanted to tag along on the trip. sure we’d be looking at rings but it wasn’t like i’d be picking mine out. the final decision is still very much the boy’s and i’ll be surprised with whatever he chooses for me. to be honest, the proposal means much more to me than the ring. besides, i needed to be formally sized, as my beloved promise ring had become a bit of a parlor trick [i can now remove it from my finger using the thumb and pinky on the same hand its on!] and this would also be a good way to see which styles work best on my hand.
we went to the somerset collection in troy to browse through the surprisingly paltry offerings of jewelry stores. seriously, there were only three! one of which was tiffany [we did not shop there]. which was fine with me to tell you the truth. you’re spending more on the name then the actual ring! but considering how pretentious it is to call a mall a “collection,” [dude, it’s a mall. let’s call it what it is] i would have figured there would have been more jewelry stores there. cheese and crackers; there are two sides to that mall!
anywho, our first stop was to bailey, banks & biddle where we obviously were not a priority. at all. seriously, we were in there for about five minutes before an associate even acknowledged us, only to point out where the engagement rings were before disappearing to help another customer. we stood there for a moment debating whether or not we should leave but ended up going ahead and browse through the rings. after what seemed like an awkwardly long time to be staring at jewelry through the cases, another friendlier associate finally helped us. she took the time to chat and answer whatever questions we had and was quick to pull out every ring i requested.
a quick aside, i will say that even though the second associate was much nicer and helpful, she wouldn’t have been enough to get us to make a purchase at the store had we been in the market to actually buy a ring. i just can’t get behind poor customer service like that. i don’t understand why that happens in major stores like that. i get better service at my local target! and i’m only spending a fraction of the price!
rogers and holland was our second and last stop. they were right downstairs from bad, badder & baddest and let me tell you the difference in attitudes. we walked in and were immediately greeted by an associate that not only showed us where the engagement rings were but also pulled out chairs so we could sit down! and we have a winner!
it turned out that letting me tag along was a great idea. that three-stone ring i had been eyeing? tried one on and it didn’t wow me at all. in fact, i felt very underwhelmed. so i asked to try on one of the antique settings, which had been a secret dark horse, and just like that, we had a new ring style. i just love the way it looks. from far away it looks very simple but when you see it up close, it’s so wonderfully intricate in detail and i love that. we were both very surprised by my change in mind but i could tell he liked the antique settings better too.
[source: tiffany]
we were also able to see how the diamond’s carat size would look in relation to my hand and considering that i’m not the most delicate person in the world, i’ll need something with a relatively low profile as i go banging through life. the last thing i want to do is have a ring i don’t feel comfortable wearing at all. that would just be a waste of money and time.
i will say that it was pretty exciting though to sit there and admire rings on my hand. i spent a lot of time doing that, my hand in my lap, my hand on his lap, my hand in the air, etc. you would have thought i was a contortionist. plus, have you seen those things? they’re sparkly and big and so much more substantial than my promise ring. i mean my dear promise ring looked particularly dinky after modeling the behemoths for a few minutes. we did find one we both liked, one that the boy probably would have bought on the spot had i not reminded him that it wasn’t time yet [he made me promise him that i’d make sure he didn’t walk out of there with a ring]. the whole experience was a bit surreal. looking at rings made it a bit more real in my head.
so now we’re on the clock in terms of engagement and marriage. it’s a bit surreal in the sense that this thing i’ve wanted for so long is finally starting to happen. it’s like my bluff is finally being called. but i’m still excited and looking forward to that day. it’s now only a matter of time.