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I’m not sure when I first started watching “My Fair Wedding with David Tutera” but I kind of enjoy watching his show. Sometimes he is so absolutely out of his element when dealing with some of his brides that he can’t even hide is disbelief and shock. Surprise an excitable bride to be and WHOA! David totally was not ready for that jumping hug screech and he looks like he’s scared but trying not to look scared. And that cracks my butt up.
You can tell that he really cares about giving each bride a wonderful wedding, that he takes the time to choose elements that they will like [he almost always ends up picking the choice the bride likes the most anyway] and would do justice to the themes that they have created themselves. I like how he doesn’t really change the overall theme but merely adds his professional touch to polish things and really pull the look together; from sophomoric to sophisticated. Actually, my favorite part is the beginning of the show when they sit down and do the big reveal of the current wedding plans and David tries not to vomit all over the place because he’s deathly allergic to the tacky.
As much as I enjoy seeing the big reveal at the end of the show, I do have a few misgivings with David. Firstly, where is the groom?! I find myself worried about the groom’s absence during the taping. David briefly meets with the groom at the welcome before ushering him out the door and then there’s nary a reference to him until the wedding day. This really bothers me because my personal response is that I want the mister to be just as involved in the wedding details as I am, even if it’s just to get a yea or nay from him. I don’t want to banish him to some holding cell until it’s time to get married and have him brought from his crate.
This ideology was really apparent in the “Diva Bride” episode. The original theme was, arguably confusing: Lady Gaga, Beyonce and Mardi Gras [um, yeah].
But the end was something completely different. It morphed into a display of “me, me, me.” All I saw were pictures of the bride and her bridesmaids all over the venue and nothing that really said much to the couple’s relationship and marriage. While it was a beautiful wedding, it felt very hollow to me.
Second, David is a champion of the “WIC” and so sometimes outside the box ideas that sound perfectly fine does not compute in his mind. I was sad that he was so against Nicki’s desire to wear her cowboy boots with her dress. I thought it looked fine and have seen plenty of brides sporting cowboy boots with their wedding dresses, the beautiful Mrs. Cherry Pie for instance. Yet David recoiled at the mention and you could tell it was painful for him to let her wear them in the end.
I don’t know, but a lot of his weddings look similar to me as well. Granted, he definitely has an aesthetic, which makes sense because that is why you hire a David Tutera [or a Colin Cowie for that matter] but sometimes I feel like I lose the sense of the couple in the final result. The original idea is stretched and preened and revised so much that it’s hard to pick out the original soul of the couple within the elaborate designs and displays.
Having David resculpt my wedding is an intriguing proposition but I don’t really want to know how he would inevitably improve upon my ideas. I don’t want to dismiss the mister from the wedding planning. I want it to be a joint effort, even though he’ll probably just say, “whatever you want.” Can you tell I just rolled my eyes there? Because I did. That reply is so not going to fly. I don’t want the wedding to be about me, but us.
I want to put the “we” in “wedding.” Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Have you watched “My Fair Wedding with David Tutera”? What did you think? Would you want David to refine your wedding planning?
Hello, is anyone still here?
Sorry to be so absent for the past month and a half. I haven’t been the best blogger here or my personal blog as of late. But since I’m not really planning a wedding, my appearances here pretty much correspond with how I’m feeling wedding-wise at any given moment. In short, waiting for an engagement is such a roller coaster ride. I love roller coasters but this was one that I did not want to be on.
One moment I’m feeling fine and confident in the plans and timeline the mister and I have made together. Then seemingly out of nowhere I’m feeling down and antsy and wishing we could just be married already. Usually those dips are quickly balanced by another high [usually because that is when I head back to the mister to discuss plans and timelines again - I'm so glad he's patient with me because dealing with all this maintenance must be crazy] but this last dip was a bit of a doozy.
See, I came to terms with the fact that, while I’m content with waiting seeing how our current situation does not create the good foundation every marriage needs, I am feeling the pangs of sadness, wanting and dare I say, perhaps even jealousy over the announcements of other people’s engagements and marriages.
While I was genuinely happy and excited for everyone, I wanted nothing more than to be able to experience that feeling for myself. It was really hard to see people who had been together for less than the mister and I have been getting engaged and then married while we still are unable to take that step. It is frustrating and disheartening all at once, especially when the conditions that are delaying our engagement are seemingly out of our control.
The pieces began to unravel for me pretty quickly. I was sad over an particular engagement and soon after while talking to the mister, I asked about his timeline and nearly cried when I heard it [we were on completely different wavelengths] and pretty much expressed my frustration by yelling at him about it. Well, as much as its possible to yell over instant message, so really I just pressed on the keys really, really hard.
This was the lowest I had reached and that was when I knew it was time to step away.
So I did. I haven’t really been looking at design inspiration and severely curtailed my activity on Weddingbee. I skim through the posts on my reader and comment occasionally on certain posts and maybe a board post here and there, but for the most part, I had to take a break. I just couldn’t maintain the same level of interest that I had before. Being around all those weddings and engagements were taxing and I just couldn’t fake a smile anymore. And the last thing I wanted to hear was more well-intentioned yet unwanted advice on being patient and how the engagement would “happen when it’s time.”
Stepping back was a good idea. It gave me the time I needed to decompress, release the negative energy I was holding onto and focus on what I do have going for me now [namely finishing my MBA program and finding a job]. While I’m not completely back to where I was before, I am heading back up. The mister and I had a pretty good conversation about our situation while I was visiting earlier this month which had pretty much restored my faith.
So I’m hoping that I’ll be able to ease back into blogging about my ideas and other general wedding stuff. Did I mention that I’ll be a bridesmaid next year? I’m so excited so hopefully I”ll be able to share some of those details. I have a few good things to discuss with everyone, including my thoughts on David Tutera and watching wedding shows with the mister, which was completely endearing.
Has anyone else experienced the highs and lows of waiting for a proposal? How did you deal with it?
I was in Target today when I came across the summer issue of Martha Stewart Weddings. I’ve been more inclined as of late to flip through wedding magazines [probably thanks to my older sister who has been handing me tear outs of magazines with inspiration pictures, which I'll have to scan for you all because I now have a new centerpiece idea. A lot more spendy than the first but it makes my heart pitter-patter just so] and have even been tempted to buy one. I don’t know how much longer I should hold out.
But I digress, I flipped through it to see what the Martha had for this season and there was a lot of DIY stuff in there, like it was some kind of DIY issue. Okay, it was their DIY issue. Anywho, while I was flipping through, this little ditty caught my eye:
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The flowers in the garland and the chandelier are made out of paper doilies! I want that chandelier to hang from our wedding canopy. Wouldn’t that be lovely to marry under? And it would be a relatively simple project to tackle, which is good because I can see my project list spiraling out of control as we speak. I will have to sit down one day and write out every project I want to create to make sure I’m not getting in over my head.
Can I also admit that I was thisclose to trying to find some doilies at Target to try this project out today? I even thought about stopping at Michael’s to pick some up and probably would have if it wasn’t for the mozzarella cheese I bought and didn’t want left in the car on a pretty warm day.
There’s always tomorrow.
During my little blog hiatus, the mister and I made some interesting progress on the planning front. Aside from the revelation about our lack of an engagement, we have begun talking about our wedding in CONCRETE DETAILS.
As in, this is what I want. This is what I don’t want. Hey babe, what do you think about having this? Here, check out this blog post I saw in my reader today on ways to keep your wedding on budget [guess who sent THAT one].
And it is so exciting.
While we have always casually discussed what we wanted to do for our wedding, we’re really sitting down and discussing this thing for real, like it is actually happening soon. But honestly, it’s a lot different now that the mister has taken an active interest in my plans and the general feel for the wedding. He took it upon himself to upload a wedding planning budget to our Google Docs and he’s brought it up in conversation as well. Even though we’ve known for a while that we would be getting married, it’s really nice to have him initiate the conversation. It’s just more proof that marriage is on his mind more and more. I never really felt like I was pressuring him into discussing weddings before but I do feel a lot better knowing that he’s bringing it up on his own.
So far he’s ok’d my idea for the overall tone for our wedding and the “theme” for our reception [more on that soon!] and has already asked me to not spend too much on my dress [I shared a picture of one of my forerunners - of course it's way out of budget. Sigh] and has requested some items. It’s been fun introducing him to the crazy world of weddings but the most glaring difference I’ve noticed during these conversations is how traditional he is.
He has a general idea on how weddings should be and while he’s not holding hard and fast to those ideas, it’s been interesting trying to convince him that I’m not crazy. Reading through numerous blogs has opened my mind to the possibilities and joys of thinking outside the wedding box. I’m more unconventional because of this exposure and don’t think twice when I see a new idea. Photobooth? Must have [for me, at least]. Soda bar? Definitely [though, I am happy to report that he really likes the idea!]. Mixed gender bridal party? Why the heck not?! Him? Not so much.
I’ve tried convincing him that it is okay to have people of the other sex stand for us though he is not convinced like I am. I might discuss this a little later but let’s just say he totally vetoed my idea. And being stubborn, I tried again and while I may have inched him over a teeny tiny bit, I knew I had to back off and let it go.
For now. Hey, I’m stubborn.
Since we have the added fun of finding work and a place to stay, we’re not sure when the engagement will happen but I did plant the idea of gambling and picking a date and planning before getting formally engaged, mainly because if we’re going to be waiting anyway, we might as well use this time to our advantage. That and I really want Eddie to photograph our wedding and he books up fast. The mister was receptive of the idea but still no real answer as of yet, so we’ll have to wait and see. At least he gave me a year to plan, that’s up from 8 months which was up from 3 months.
So now I need to get back on my game and really update all my planning documents and continue to fine-tune the elements for our wedding. Now, where to start?